The Three of us. . . .

We were three friends from our childhood days. But, it was never about me, it was only the two of you, and this was from the beginning and always.
I never felt a part of you two. It was you who were a bond between us. But, even you were more bent towards her. If it were not for you, we would have never formed a trio. I was the one who was always sidelined.
For the world, we were three, but from my eyes, it was only you two. Many a times, I would feel jealous, when you two unknowingly avoided me. When we three walked together, two of you would unintentionally leave me behind and walk together hand-in-hand.
I never felt her as a good friend, though you were really a good friend. I don’t know why I couldn’t gel along well with her, may be because we never had common topics to talk upon or may be this is just a stupid reason of not having topics! There were also a few things about you, for which I hated you a lot.
But as and when we parted our ways, I got a better view of what you meant to me. I realized your worth and I hope even you understood my worth!
I am now living a completely different life than yours and when I see how people treat me, I feel all the more good about having a friend like you. That does not mean I don’t have good friends other than you! I have good company around me, but no one as good as to replace you!
Though I have completely lost the relation with her, which you have still managed to maintain, I no more feel jealous about it until and unless it is affecting my friendship with you. I also never feel like making my bond strong with new relationships and of course, also her, as I always feel, “If I couldn’t handle old relations how can I move forward to new ones?”
I know what other people think about me, but I don’t care as I know, I am not doing anything wrong and also that you trust me and you know I wont do anything wrong. Some say, I have attitude, I am not helpful, some even say, I bitch about others, some also say, I am rude enough. But you have always praised and appreciated me for whatever I do. I might be like that, but you have accepted me as I am and always supported me. I really feel it was a good decision to part ways as to realize each others worth. I just love spending time with you now, it makes me feel light. However, bad my day goes, however bad mood let it be, you make my day!! Thanks for being my friend! Just wanna say “U R PRECIOUS.”

My Identity. . . .

                    My Existence. . . .

Every thing on this earth has an identity. Right from a human being, a tree, an animal, a non-living thing like a clock or a glass also has their own identity. Identity is something for which you are known to be YOU!! Till yesterday I was living with an identity… then what brought a change??

All of a sudden I began doubting my existence; I started believing I had no identity of my own. I felt as if no one was there around me although there were many.

My identity went somewhat like:

There she is his/her daughter.

There comes his/her sister.

There she is… She is his/her friend.

There that girl, yes she is his/her cousin.

There comes she, she is his/her neighbor.

The girl there, she is my relative.

Because my brother doesn’t like me doing a certain things, when he doesn’t like me disobeying him, I feel I am not a Good Sister.

Because there are relatives who ask me to help my mother all the time in her kitchen chores, because I am unable to do that all the time, though my mother never asked me to, I feel I am not a Good Daughter.

Because my friends never feel like talking to me whenever they are in trouble, I feel I am the stupid enough to realize that I always trouble them. I am the one who has to realize that they are not going to be there for me all the time and they have their own life too… And hence I am not a Good friend!!

If I am not a good daughter, not even a good sister and definitely not a good friend… Am I still a good human being??

Where do I stand without my parents?

Or when I am not with my friends?

Am I lost somewhere, from where I can’t come back??

I feel all lost about my existence… I am a daughter, I am a sister, and I am a friend…. But where does that I come from? Who am I as a person? Why am I here? What am I doing?

When you come across such depressing thoughts, I definitely thought about talking to you, but you being busy with your own thoughts, thinking about something you had to take decision about couldn’t understand my situation..

I being the one solely responsible for handling the situation… started meditating for long. But even that didn’t help. I can’t any more handle the situation like this… this is not me…

I am a happy go lucky person with a beautiful smile and not an artificial one…

I have to back to normal very soon.

He is there to look after me but I am the one to form my own identity! This too shall pass away!! He’ll help me find way out of here…….. :) I am just waiting for him to lead!!

Searching myself, my identity which is close by but is just not noticeable.

Goldie – Part 2……

 “As the grass is greener on the other side” Goldie decided to check out the big pond, she finally started her swim in the cool water of the big pond, not realizing she’ll have to pay for swimming in the big pond! She wanted to experience the new life in the new world with beautiful surroundings, being around people who were broad minded. She started enjoying the initial days there, meeting new fishes, realizing various facts of life, enjoying new things which were exciting and fascinating, feeling the importance of being exposed to various things, etc. But here the things were different. She had nobody who would help or listen her except for a few she selected as her friends.

She was so happy or may be she wanted to show she was quite happy as it was her decision to move on to the big pond.

She kept herself busy with the big pond, so that she didn’t remember the old pond. The people in the old pond didn’t really react to what she had to say and didn’t give her any importance as before. She started belonging to the big pond where she had made a few friends who were priceless for her. But who knew that one day there would be no one for her……

        Here, the ways were too difficult. You had to pass through an examination for each and every step you take. You always feel like having someone there to guide you, feel happy for you when you achieve something, someone you could hold back to, someone to laugh with you, someone to cry with you, someone to read your eyes… Someone who belongs to you!!

        But as they say, you don’t get everything you desire… you have to swim alone, find ways for yourself and get through them!!

So, she is still in search of that someone who accepts her in spite of being unknowledgeable, and not being able to mix along well. She is searching the shark along with right directions to right paths… leading to a right way!

Hope she gets there soon……!

JUST TRYING TO PEN DOWN WHAT HEART FEELS!!

I am very happy today... as i gave the RJ Hunt Auditions today and am the 2nd runner up for it!!
Though it was on a very small level... i feel I've achieved something... m really happy about it.
Being always fearful from the stage, i went ahead and gave it a chance... i feel so good about it... shared it with the special people around me... and again at the end of day i have no one to talk to.................. yet there is a hope of someone kindling the light!! again that strange feeling like the last weekend which was not a usual one begins to surround me which i want to get free from...

most of the people wont relate to whatever written above but i just felt like typing it, so just did it:)
wish me luck for finals!! M scared about it.......

Decision!!!

Some decisions take your life while some make your life.

However taking decisions have always been tough for me. According to elders, teenagers can never take right decisions. But this how we teenagers will learn to take decisions and decide what is good and what is bad for us.

Every time when I have to take some important decision, I take a few people’s advice and they tell me about the pros and cons of whatever I choose.

One thing that everyone tells me is: You should know where you have to draw your lines. You choose whatever you feel and follow your heart. At the same time stay in your limits.

Life is too simple to make it complicated.

We think so much about small decisions we take and in no time take big decisions.

It is really all the more tough for us to decide when we are supposed to consider each and every aspect like society, family, friends, relatives and your responsibility towards it.

Teenagers always say, “We don’t care about what the world says.”

And unlike teenagers, parents are possessive about their children and keep them away from all the possible things they think their children might get exploited to.

Because of such behavior of parents, we are often confused while we take decisions.

It is most difficult when it is related to someone’s faith.

Because faith is the light that always lights your path, no matter how dark the world may be around you.

Once the faith is destroyed, everything comes to an end!!

While I am on my path to start taking decisions, I might need your help!!

Be there for me

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

You cannot always express your true feelings!

Life is just Simple, it is we who make it complicated!

It ain't so easy to express yourself.......

Behind everything there is a Reason...!

Cause and effect always go together...

Watching love stories is so much fun!!

Silence is your best friend, never let it go away from you!

There is nothing like Chocolates in this world ;)

Friends are the best part of your life...

Spirituality is essential to survive!

"Just follow your heart and you'll get the treasure of your life"- is this statement true?

If you don't have parents, you are missing the most important gift of your Life.

Never expect. Expectations hurt a lot, which might cause a lot of pain...

Always be ready for the unexpected!

Change is the rule of life.

THIS IS ALL FOR NOW. I'M RASHMI HERE SIGNING OFF AT WHAT COMES FROM YOUR HEART FM!
FOR THE NEXT THOUGHT KEEP WAITING....:)

P.S: You can share what's on your mind!

A Smile. . .

“Smile and the world will smile with you” goes the saying.

And it’s so true..!!

        When I had entered a new strange world, one little fat but a cute guy said me, “You know what, your smile is really very sweet and it just works wonders.” And I thought he is just saying it, and all I said is “Okay” and he said, “Really, I mean it… your smile is really beautiful” and I with my beautiful smile said, “Ya… ok... thanks.”

        Later I found that a smile really works wonders…

Everyday you have so many people surrounding you… you meet so many people… a sweet smile to everyone you see will make them feel so good. Some of course might feel a bit awkward, but I am sure many people will smile back at you.

        Once when I was at a station waiting for a local and besides me were a few other people, out of them, there was one lady who had caught attention of everyone around her by her behavior which showed anger and frustration. Finally, our wait didn’t last long, as the local arrived… She took the same local which I did… There were many people between and around us, but just as she glanced at me, I just smiled looking at her. She first looked around to check if I was smiling at someone else or her. After assuring herself, that I was smiling for her, she returned a sweet smile back. She felt so nice and calm after receiving just a smile that she got over all her frustration.

        A smile really works wonders. A recent experience says, “You can actually stop your tears in your eyes if you just smile.”

After all you should always smile in pain!! What say??

A smile in grief,

A smile while u cry,

A smile when you accidentally fall!

A smile at something foolish,

A smile in old memories,

A smile in love!

A smile when you are alone,

A smile when you see yourself in mirror,

A smile when you see someone!

        A smile when you pen down something,

A smile when you see flowers,

A smile when you remember someone!

A smile while you see someone doing something weird when they are in their own world!

A smile when you receive a gift!

A smile full of happiness………..!!

Wish you a life full of happy, stupid and cute smiles…. :-)

READ IT CAREFULLY!!

Starting it like the old time classics…

Once upon a time, there was a fish named “Goldie”… she lived with her parents and was happy with normal ups and downs in her life. After 17 long years, a small fish that had grown big enough to live up her life with her own decisions got a chance to step out of that small pond to a bigger pond.

The small pond consisted of a limited no. of fishes, the fishes which belonged to a same category, same thinking- narrow minded and so were the fishes surrounded her. And now the big pond consisted of many fishes, from all around small ponds, all with a different thinking, a different view, and very open- minded, all living their own piece of life.

Now, when this fish Goldie gets a chance to shift from her small pond to the big pond. . . .

SHOULD SHE LET HER FINS BREATHE IN THE BIG POND??

CHANGE. . . . . . .

A change in atmosphere,

A change in our routine,

A change in wind,

A change in health,

A change in the surroundings,

A change in a variety of things,

BUT................

Why did u change?

Or are you the same? and i feel like you have changed but you were the same since then...

But if you haven't changed why is there a change in your behaviour, in every action you do.... in every word that you say now...!!

You haven't changed your outer appearance then why the inner you??

I once said her, "You won't believe even ________ has changed. I don't understand the reason for this. I am really very upset by ________'s sudden change... I never knew even _______ included his/ her name in the list!. But then I thought whom was i expecting from?"

She just smilingly answered, "May be he/she thinks the same thing about you. And so the change in the behaviour..."

Her simple answer dropped me in a deep thought...! And after this deep thought, I came to the conclusion that I haven't changed... Even if i have, I can't still notice it....

DO YOU THINK I HAVE CHANGED????

But I'm sure I have NOT changed.......

If I didn't change, why did you?

Was there a need? a necessity? Or any problem because of which you had no option but to change?

WHY? Why did you CHANGE? WHY?

You need not answer me,

but YOURSELF. . . . . .

Observe yourself, your behaviour in the beginning and now....

Observe your changes from the beginning and now...

ANSWER YOURSELF......................

THE JOURNEY. . . . .


Permission!! Whenever I have to do something… be it a decision about my career or going downstairs to my cousin’s place… I have to take permission from my dearest dad…
My dad has not been that strict but it’s not that easy to survive… I don’t say I have some problem with him or anything… I just love my dad to the core!! I don’t say taking permission for things you do is wrong… In fact it’s good… it’s good that our parents from the beginning have had control on us. He never ever expresses his love… My dad being very much conservative about us, I and my brother, gave us all kind of luxuries… if we asked for Rs.5, he gave us Rs.10. He never stopped us from doing anything, but didn’t give us proper exposure as kids… we didn’t see much of the beautiful world outside…!!!
I did my schooling from the same school as him which was just 5 minutes of walking distance down the lane from my home. My life was just limited to 5 minutes distance to my school, my friends place… and so it was all about a 5 minute walk…… I completed my SSC, the most important step of anyone’s life… and so was mine… but as usual even after studying hard I didn’t score that well that could make my dearest mom happy… Going against my mom’s wish I enrolled my name for commerce…
After my schooling, I somehow took permission and managed to convince my darling daddy for continuing my college in Pune- be it a girls’ college… I managed to say I didn’t want it to be the same 5 minute walk any more now… And so did my HSC, the 2nd milestone of anybody’s life as mine from St. Mira’s College for girls, Koregaon Park in Pune… I made a few more friends… wished to enjoy with them… but could do within the college premises only as I didn’t get PERMISSION to go out for movies and stuff… It wasn’t that I never got any permission; I did but very rarely and had to plan a month in advance… Now, it was like a 20 minute journey by a local and about a 7 minute journey with the 3-tier vehicle with 3 of us in it… Now it was all about a 27 min journey!!! I passed my HSC with pretty decent marks and this time it made my mom a bit satisfied!!
After this I managed to decide for my graduation course… in the media field, which has so much of exposure to the outside world… I again managed to convince my daddy dearest, for continuing my further studies in this field and got admission, this time in a co-ed college… I was too scared about being with altogether different people but then I thought after all this is all I wanted…
A new journey began………….
NOW… it’s like having a lot of friends, a few true ones and now my life is not just a 25 min ride on my dio..!
It was now enjoying with friends, spending hours with all friends or sometimes also with only one person on a staircase, talking rubbish, learning new things, new experiences, having lots of fun, night outs- rare ones!!, laughing, teasing, genuine talks, organizing film festivals, college festivals, experiencing new things, observing behavior of people around which makes us learn lot of lessons, experiencing the shock.. by seeing how selfish people can be, being out of home for long hours and spending more and more time with friends……
At the same time the season at home begins to change………………………………………
It all started because of that arrogant person in my life… there began clashes with the mindsets as there were different minds present there, as everyone had one of their own…
Things began to get worse… but till when could they long… As every coin has two sides this too had two sides, things couldn’t have been worse for long… it began to get normal but still there was an incompleteness in it as it was and is still not sorted i.e. communicated well...
And THE JOURNEY STILL CONTINUES…. TO BE A BIT SOUR AND SWEET, BITTER AND ROTTEN!!! Let it SWINGG and I'll Continue BREATHING. . . .

ARROGANCE

He doesn’t talk to me properly, never tells me anything about him. I don’t know anything about him which I normally should know. I always wanted to be his good friend but he didn’t even let me be his friend.
He has a very helping and caring nature. If any of his friends are in trouble he tries his best to bring a smile to their faces and always considers their problem as his. He tries to solve their problem with all his heart but most probably lands himself in trouble, yet he’s always the same……
Things that he can do in a simple way, does them in a complicated way. His mind always runs in the complicated direction…… yet I always used to ask for his help though I had other options, but now things are different I always avoid to talk to him and so does he……………
I always needed his support for lots of things. I still crave for his support. If I get his little support and if ever I get a chance to be his friend I’ll be the luckiest person ever…
People normally say,
If you’ll be my friend,
You’ll never have any problem…
But I’d like to say,
If he’ll be my friend,
I’m sure I’ll never have any problem!!!
The problem with him is, he always sees the situation through his eyes (side), never tries to see it from someone else’s eyes (side),
I can prove this… The very quotes from him are:
“I don’t like talking to people who don’t listen to me……”
This shows ARROGANCE……………………… he is overbearingly confident about what he says no matter if he’s wrong…
Why should people listen to him all the time??
Why can’t anybody have their own views??
He doesn’t like people who don’t listen to him but why can’t there be people who don’t like to be forced to do something?????

If to gain his friendship, I’ll have to be forced to do a certain things, I can but for a certain period…
That too it won’t be me then……

One would always like to be themselves with friends…
What’s the use………
If I gain him………
But, at the same time
Loose myself
My individuality…………

FINALLY.........!!!!!
So… finally here I am up with a blog… I hadn’t heard much about writing blogs and stuff from people around me… then a special friend introduced his blog to me… I read his blog and went crazy about his write ups (not in the real sense)!! But yes, he really writes incredibly well that he should really consider writing a novel in future… so that was about him!! But now coming back to me… I don’t write that well, but one of my best teachers, who touched my heart and left some kind of influence in her very first class said me, “You write good but not very good but if continue writing you can really write very well.”
So here I am with the help of my friend and a teacher to have some attayachar on you people!! I gave it a thought and finally after a long time I am all yours!! I totally belong to you!! And request all the visitors to leave your comments on my write-ups… all kinds of comments are welcome… stay tuned…